“I don’t know where to start.”
This was my thought during a pre-dawn run late last summer that was meant for solitude as much as it was to beat the afternoon humidity. The daily routine gave me the opportunity to push myself physically but it also became a time to think through the day ahead and for prayer. I had grown to look forward to it, but this morning had been different, and a formless weight seemed to sit on my chest. I became convinced that God was working, or somehow trying speaking to me, though without clarity, and the notion effectively drained the energy from my legs and the wind from my lungs. My run slowed to a walk and I looked heavenward in the morning’s half-light and spoke the words that had already begun to repeat themselves in my head. “Lord, please show me what you want me to do, and then give me the courage to do it.” I said.
Later that night my wife said that she had something she wanted to talk about. There was hesitation in her expression as we sat facing each other, but her tears came long before her words ever could. When she spoke, she talked about feeling a tremendous conviction about the possibility of having a fourth child, but that she believed that God was leading us to adopt internationally. Adoption was not a foreign concept to our family, but the thought that it might be a path we might follow had never occurred to me. There was a momentary numbness and then sudden clarity as I once again heard the words of my prayer and a definite understanding that I had just received my answer.
I have used a lot of space to share how this journey began, but I can assure you that God has not only supplied courage, but he has filled our hearts with joy as we anticipate the arrival of a little person who have not met but who we love so deeply.
Looking into the heart of this troubled world can compel us to distract ourselves from the dire needs of the masses who may not look like us, share a common language, or even live nearby. I have discovered that doing so may not only fail to save a life, but it also robs us of the very purpose for which we were created. Perhaps you are also wondering where to start. No matter where you find yourself, you are not beyond the reach of God’s saving grace, and no service for His kingdom will ever be too small.